Saturday, May 28, 2011
I have had the most interesting conversations, emails, messages, and comments after my post a few weeks ago. The common thread seems to be how difficult friendships can be. We all have such a "Hallmark" ideal of having big happy groups of friends and big happy extended families ... and for the most part, that isn't the reality for most . There are so many kinds of friendships ... some easy, some difficult. I think the best ones are when you feel your life is pretty complete and you meet someone else who feels that way about her life ... an occasional get-together or a cup of tea , an email or a phone call ... and that feels like a lovely bonus in your life. These kinds of friends are also busy & don't have lots of time to pour into the friendship ... but that doesn't make it any less important. But both parties understand that and they treasure those times when a laugh is shared, a hug is given, a dinner is shared. And we all know that we are there for each other if needed. That is the kind of friendship I love !! Almost accidental in nature. Not planned or sculpted, not carefully orchestrated or monitored. Some of the dearest people in my life are those I rarely see ... we talk on the phone once in a while, have a visit once a year maybe, a quick conversation on the sidewalk ... and just that makes me happy. These friendships have lasted for years ... some almost my entire life. And casual friendships are amazingly wonderful too ... they are the sprinkles on life's cake !! ... no real expectations just happiness when you run into each other. An annual craft swap, a birthday party, chatting at an event ... all make life sweeter. So maybe the secret is this ... carry on enjoying your life and in the process you will find those friendships that you don't have to work at & schedule so carefully. You'll know a good friendship because it will come so naturally. It won't make demands. It will carry on quietly beside you and you'll know it's there. You'll know you can count on it and it can count on you. Maybe we expect too much of our friendships ... this is real life not the movies !!