And Here's to a New Year !

It's almost 2012 ... and I can't be happier. 2011 has been miserable ... the worst year that I can remember. UGH.
I have loads of physical scars ( and a few emotional ones) ... it really was a trying year. I was sick all year and it took the biggest part of the year to find out why. Then the cures became part of the problem and the ultimate cure has now left me with more things to fix up in the new year. Not what I was hoping for !! But things look brighter !!
I realized that people are not always what they seem and that for some, friendship goes to the highest bidder. It really can be bought for some . But that was all a good lesson - it is better to find that out about people at some point. Sad but good to know.
I learned - no I already knew this - that I have the best partner in life I could ever want. Through the blisters & tears , he was always good and kind. And even when I slept through our dream concert and blistered the hell out of our vacation, he still liked me ... lol. And I know how wonderful our good friends are. And that they are always there.
We had some personal sadness in our little family ... more like crushing heartbreak ... but got through it together. And then more. Wonderful people died, families that we loved broke apart, friends faced really hard situations ... it was a tough one.
So I will have no sadness when I bid adieu to this year ... actually it will be more like a "F*** YOU !!" (sorry if you are offended by that ...) I am opening my arms wide to 2012 ... I am going to give it a big kiss ON THE LIPS and say "I have been waiting for you!!" I know it is going to be a good one .

Annual Christmas Craft Swap !!

Hi ... I'm Pam and I don't really like Christmas. I like what I think Christmas should be but never like what it ends up being. I find it to be all about money, keeping score, "STUFF" for people who don't need stuff, a huge sense of obligation, and really a fake kind of jolliness. I want it to be all about the family & friends I love, making things to share, feeding people, gifting those who make my life richer without them feeling like they must reciprocate, giving to charities, and a true feeling of community and festivity. I want to make things for people but I don't really have a lot of people who want "made things". BAH HUMBUG !!
So four years ago I decided to do something about it ... create a little of that Christmas I wanted. I had been to a Cookie Swap and enjoyed it. It was fun to visit, share what we had made, and exciting to see what others had made. But ... for me ... it was a lot of baking ! I like to bake but just little batches ... 9 dozen was a lot ! And then all the amazing food I brought home ... wow ! It is just the 2 of us so , sadly, a lot of it ended up uneaten. So I liked the idea but wanted some other vehicle. I love to craft and never seem to have enough reasons to make projects. Hmmmm .... A craft swap !!! And so the idea was born !
I asked a few friends and then asked frequent customers who were fun & crafty people. I didn't know everyone really well ... I just knew that I liked them and was intrigued and inspired by their projects. I quickly found 9 people willing to give it a go ! I wished I could have had more ... but there is a limit to how many things people can make !!
The "rules" were simple ... make nine of anything you want. That's it ! Everyone gets together on the night of the swap, we all bring some sort of food and our crafts. We chat, we eat, we drink, and we share. And it is one of my favourite things about Christmas. Actually it might be my favourite ! We were a random group of people , none of whom knew everyone, but we all were people who like to create and share. Some had to be convinced that they were creative but they found their inner crafters !! The variety of what has been given is amazing and it has never become a competition.
We have had everything from bookmarks, candle holders, wall art, card holders, jams & pickles, bath salts, clove studded oranges, cards, bows, coasters, ornaments ... you name it ! I am amazed every year at what everyone makes. But the most important thing is that everyone makes something from the heart and offers it to the group. We all ohhh and ahhh , we even squeal ! Everything is appreciated and cherished. Some use their gifts, some give them as gifts, and some just hoard them all (that would be me !! This year I am going to try to use them ...) We pass the gifts around and each one brings about discussion about how it was made. It is truly a wonderful evening of shared creativity and friendship.
Through the years some have had to drop out, we have added others, and made new friends. Someone that you run into at the store or at a crop and now know. We don't get together for any other reasons but we have made such nice friends by doing this. And we look forward to each year's get-together.
And then we go our separate ways for the year ... and we plan what we will do next year !!

Blowing it out of the Water !!

Yep ! That's what I am doing !!! I have put my nose to the grindstone, my pedal to the metal, and I am ROLLING !!!! This has been a long itchy miserable stretch ... 2011 I guess I mean ! ... and I am over it !! Fall came and with it came my mojo ... I love Fall and can't help but be energized by it . I have accomplished so much this last few weeks and I am ELATED !!! Tired but elated !! I really have nothing exciting to blog about ... that's what happens when your nose is squished on the grindstone - you really just see the grindstone for a while. But that's okay. There is great comfort in getting stuff done and just being & doing. And I am loving it !!
Here's a quick recap ...
* renovating my store ... a chunk every week on my closed days
* unpacking an unholy number of boxes of new product ... did I really think I needed ALL of this ??? (yes, of course I did ...lol)
* filling my head with ideas for samples & workshops
* being so happy with the progress and newer tidier look of my store.
* helping out my favourite charities when & however I can ... not always easy but I will if possible. And I have let myself off the hook for not doing as much as I would like ... I KNOW I am not sitting on the couch eating bonbons !!
* dreaming up some kick ass Hallowe'en projects ... I love Hallowe'en !!
* letting go of my annual Pumpkin party ... it is soooo much work and I don't think I really enjoy it ... I'll enjoy a little more time more.
* enjoying cooking comfort food meals and baking (late at night) ... oven meals are sooo good !
* Nutella ... let me count the ways !!
* a little ... no, lots of solitary time. Here at work mostly while I am renovating. And I realize how much I like being alone & just chugging along on a project. I really like my own company and my own way of doing things !!
UPDATE !!! I do have news ... 2 new kittens !!! Leonard & Cohen ... and we LOVE them !!!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone !!! Be thankful - life is good !!

WAHOOOOOOOO !!!

My groove is back !!! I have kicked butt this week !! New shelving set up at work, new work area set up, tossed bags & bags of junk, sorted papers, paid bills, baked cookies, gardened a bit, weekly card kits back in production, made an awesome sample for work, new computer set up & actually loving it !!, unpacked MANY boxes, processed orders, updated store blog & page, dumpster-ed stuff, made lists and plans ... I am on a rolllll !!!
Watch for happy, non-complaining blog posts !!
WOOT ! WOOT !

Pre-occupied ...

I have been pre-occupied ... this has been my problem and it is taking me over !! Hives are my best friend & constant companion every day since January...24/7.... sometimes a dozen, sometimes well over hundred ... but there EVERY STINKING DAY. And when the triggers are bad , they become this ... (sorry for the yucky picture ...) and this is after a few days of healing.

It sucks. And it seems to dictate what I do. "Kneel down ? OOPS !! GET UP !! You'll get hives !!". "Be careful, if the cat scratches you, you'll be sorry !" "Don't get too hot/get that heating pad off you/don't exert yourself." Blah blah blah ... sucks. (I said that already didn't I ???!)

So I spoke too soon about it all going well ... but now I have become a real oddity and I have a TEAM of people reviewing the photos & biopsies. And it is hives but with something that is not hives ... interesting ... So I look forward to progress and finding my wonderful fall groove again. I got kicked out of that groove with a big ugly sucker punch to the gut, and I am DETERMINED to find the groove and climb back in. I will. So there.

P.S. I am starting a "hive diary" ... "The Year my Skin Turned on Me..." ... I hope it will help ... help the specialists and help me vent this junk out of me !! HAHA !!!

I ♥ This Week !!

I do ! I ♥ it, I ♥ it !!
This is the last week of summer ... not officially, I guess, but by my inner calendar & the school's calendar it is ... I am not crazy about summer so I am happy to see it go ...go on with you !! ... I do like a few things about summer ... bonfires, open doors, sandals, flowers ... but I see no reason to not embrace those things all year anyway.
This is the week I pack up my tiredness. I sort through my old ideas & throw away those that aren't working for me. I unfold my dreams, write them down, plan the steps to make them happen. It is the mental equivalent of buying a new book bag and filling it with crisp new school supplies. It makes me excited , brave, and energized.
No matter how old I am, September will always be a new start . It is the first blank page of a new scribbler, a whole new pack of crayons, and a chance to start and learn. To try more, learn more, experience more, and be more.
I always have ideas percolating in my head ... hmmm ... but I let them simmer until now. If not I fear that summer's heat & (for me) discomfort will make the ideas wither and die. I will not have the determination or the mindset to deal with them. But come September I am "back to normal" ... lol. And I am ready to make dreams happen !!!

YAY !!!

Happy Happy !!!
As some of you know I have been complaining about hives ... for months ... since January actually, 8 months. Almost a full term pregnancy. lol. These aren't the spotty itchy hives though ... those I deal with ... every day. I have had those every day since late December. But these are - in addition - big huge swollen spots that burn and sometimes cause big blisters. They can last for days if they are severe. They exhaust me and make me unable to do a lot of things. They come from kneeling, carrying a purse, heat, walking, using a paper punch, applying a foot mask, having a massage treatment, rubbing my arm, wearing a sweater over sleeves, a paper cut, a bug bite, a bra strap out of place, shovelling dirt ... yep, silly things really. They can be on my hands , on the bottom of my feet, arms, anywhere. They are really a problem.
So I have been to the doctor several times, been referred to a specialist for 2012 (yes, waaaaaay in the future), that specialist died, and then I was referred to another specialist. I went Wednesday. I was so nervous the night before that I made lists on paper, I had my symptoms all layed out ... I was so sure I would have to convince the specialist. I had been hearing "Oh, you must have an allergy" for so long. I didn't sleep that night, I ate no breakfast ... I was nervous.
I went in & started speaking and she NODDED. She nodded. She knew what I was talking about and knew I wasn't crazy !! She did some very simple tests, took a biopsy (yes, right there ... cut out a piece of the hive !! UGH !!) , ordered some very specific blood work, and gave me a partial diagnosis ... right there !!! I was thrilled. It is fairly rare and is multi layered. The biopsy and tests will tell more but it's a start !! I am on a MEGA dose of medication for a month and then taper it off a bit for a few more months, then back to see her in 3 months. In the meantime we await the blood and pathology tests.
I didn't feel well when I left ... maybe from the biopsy ;) ... but I was elated !! To have someone say "I know some of what is wrong and can start helping you now. And I will soon be able to figure out the rest of it ... and it can all be dealt with ". I can't tell you what a relief !!!
Happy ! Happy !