Thursday, October 9, 2008

FISHY WISHY makes my stomach SQUISHY

Okay, I don't like seafood. EXCEPT ... haddie bits & haddock fish&chips in thin batter/crumb. That I LOVE !!! But every few years I go crazy or senile or just plain stupid and think that maybe I secretly do like fish and I am going to cook some. Now how I am keeping that secret from myself, I don't know & I really SHOULD question that part - but I don't.
So there is a perfectly lovely fish man who sets up beside the store every other Wednesday. His truck is like a little store & VERY CLEAN. NO SMELL. This all played into my DELUSION. I bought haddock last night to cook for supper. Then he gave Charlie a sturgeon steak. Again, NO SMELL. Home we go ( after many delays & side tracks - story of my life !) . I dredge the fish in an egg, dip in Panko crumbs (love those little crispy suckers !!) and lemon pepper. I fry it until golden brown - still no smell. It looks yummy. I put the UGLY sturgeon steak in the pan & it begins to cook ... and SMELL !!!! Now, don't get me wrong, not a bad fishy smell but a sea smell like I was out on the SS Minnow ... but it is a smell none the less. And , as most people know, I am a smeller - I smell everything ...paper, food, clothes, my hands, other people's hands, my cats, ... I have to sniff it all. And, not bragging, but I have en excellent sense of smell ... I am almost a freakin' robot when it comes to smells. So smells are a huge part of my sensory perception and anything a weeeeee bit strong or not-enjoyable-by-me is TOO MUCH. I was gagging but decided that I was being a baby and, anyway, I wasn't eating that shit ...oops STURGEON. So I plate up my food (after washing the flipper and before Charlie could touch the ugly with it). I sit down , take one bite, I HATE FISH. I made KD for me.
Then the NIGHT OF LONG SMELLS began. The house smelled, my hands smelled, my shirt smelled, my water bottle smelled, ugh .... I sprayed Fabreeze, I lit a candle, I sprayed that old toxic -make your eyes water- bathroom spray. Charlie said "Well, our eyes will soon be burnt out". "At least we won't be able to see the stink" was my very clever retort. He had to go to town at 9pm so I happily went to breathe fresh un-stunk-up air. When I came back, the wall of stink misery hit me. Charlie says he couldn't even smell it. I am desperately hoping that the stink will be gone by our Hallowe'en party in 16 days ...
Later I looked in the fridge for my water. Not there. I asked Charlie if he knew where it was. Comedian that he is, he answered "Oh, I didn't put it away because I didn't want to stink up the whole fridge." hahahaha... He doesn't understand the curse of the gifted sniffer.
So I have realized something ... I still don't like fish.

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