Thursday, July 9, 2009

reporting LIVE from the Wild Kingdom here in Port George ...

wow. It's a zoo here . Really.
Last night about 12:45 we decided to go to bed

WAIT !!! I have to interrupt myself !!! I was just outside DRIVING THE FORKLIFT !!!! First time ever ... it rocks !!
Okay ... back to my story. We had decided to go to bed when we heard a scratch at the window right behind Charlie's chair. Our cat was a bit freaked. So Charlie went to get a flashlight. We thought it was a cat ... but then I heard BIG scratching ... a bit like MONSTER SCRATCHING ... like REALLY BIG ... up and down the wall of the house. Our dining room window juts out and is about 2 feet from the other window. We look out it and see a raccoon CLIMBING THE HOUSE !!! Actually climbing up, trying to get to the roof !! We shine the light on it ... from 2 feet away.
Raccoon : "Yeah ? What do you want ?"
Us : "Um, we would like you to get off the house."
Raccoon : "sorry, can't."
So we bang on the window.
Raccoon : "Why are doing that ? I told you I wasn't getting down."
So Charlie opens the window (from which he could touch the raccoon) and yells at him.
Raccoon : "Buddy, are you stunned ? I am not getting down."
He continues to climb our house. Hmmm.
So then we spot the bucket of compost we had left on the step. YIKES ! We don't want him to spot it or he may never leave. So Charlie heads out to dump it in the green cart. It is only when he opens the door that the little masked bugger gets down off the wall. But he then just sits on the step, looking at us. Finally he slowly ambles off through he grass. Nervy !
So he's gone. But then I start to worry. I am not afraid of raccoons but am afraid of what they could do to my cats. So I worry ( aloud) if he could get in the house. No. He could get in the woodshed though through a missing window pane. Oh, so could he get in the house from there ? No. Could he get in the ceiling from the woodshed and be in our attic ? No. Could he come down our chimney and be in the furnace and then get into the house ? No. ( you have to understand, in our house I am the one with the active "What if?"imagination and Charlie is the "No, could never happen " man. Really, a good pairing... voice of insanity and fantasy and voice of reason. Works for us.
So we go to bed. EARLY EARLY this morning I hear a scratching. Hmmm what are those cats up to ? I close my eyes. MORE SCRATCHING. I get up to investigate. IT'S IN THE CEILING !!! It is NOT the cats !!! Okay, now I hear it moving through the ceiling, in the wall, scratching the pipes. OH MY GOD. IT'S THE RACCOON. I KNEW IT !!!
I get Charlie up and we start to investigate. We follow the noise downstairs and he goes off to the other side of our house to see if it is in there. I hear it above me. Then up where the ductwork is not covered in - yet - I see something trying to get out. AHHHH !!! I must have shrieked because Charlie starts yelling "Is it in there ?" Then all of a sudden it comes out of the duct area , swooping at my head. It's a BIRD !!! It flies smack right into the back door window. Walter , good cat that he is, is on it in seconds and scoops it up. I pry it from his mouth, give it to Charlie, who lets it go outside. Then my knees start to shake and I have to admit that I thought it was the raccoon and he was IN THE HOUSE. ( Now this may seem crazy but we have had many birds, squirrels, mice, a not-ours cat and a skunk in our house over the past few years. I believe anything is possible ...)
So ... emergency over ... we go back to bed. As we lay there I ask "Are you going to be able to go back to sleep ?" To which I hear "Not if you keep talking to me."
Long story short, I got up early and had a lovely mushroom omelet out on the back deck in the glorious morning sun. Just another day at the Port George Zoo.

No comments:

... a few of my favourite things ...