I have not been the same ol' me lately ... I am generally a happy person & I have a lot of fun. And I won't even say that I try to be positive and happy - because generally I just AM - no trying needed. (Okay ... during the Plumbing Crisis of February 2009, I did have to try some - it wasn't always immediately obvious where the humour was ...!!!) But then in March my grandmother fell, then she had a heart attack and had to be hospitalized. Then it was decided that she would need to move to a nursing home. I began to worry. But then, like a disease, the worry spread. I became weighed down by worry and totally preoccupied with it - I worried about Gramma, I worried about my aunt who was trying to look after all of it, I worried about my poor old cat, I worried about a friend who had troubles and another who had lost her mom, I worried about my family & my brother, I worried about Charlie & how hard he was working, I worried about my business... THE LIST NEVER ENDED !!! I really only felt about half here. I was a semi participant in my own life !! And , while it is easy to say "Don't worry" , it isn't always easy to do it. Then my Grandmother died.And it broke my heart. I told hardly anyone - I didn't really talk about it to anyone. And it just got sadder as the days went on. And then Boo. Wow ... quite a crappy spring when you come right down to it. So ... I figure it has to get better from here ...And I am ready to let all the worrying go ...( Did you hear me ? GO !! GET OUT !!) And maybe get back into my life full time ... I'm ready !
Just one little footnote .Here's a stupid story about me though ... I had a hedgehog named Prickle. He was adorable. He lived at the store for a while but then all the activity was too much for him, so I moved him home. People often asked about Prickle. Now, hedgehogs live about 5 years, and that is exactly what Prickle lived. But ... even now ... 8 years after his death, if people ask how Prickle is , I say "Fine." FINE ??!!! He would be a freakin' Guinness Book of Records hedgehog with a life span like that. I LIED !!! And on Saturday I told someone that Boo was out back. Technically true but , not really. I CANNOT say sad news from my mouth - I can type it but I CANNOT say it. So I lie ... how weird is that ??? A bit too much like Norman Bates and his mother propped up in the basement ... I guess I should work on that.
So ... now that I have poured my heart out & confessed that I am a liar ... I promise the next post will be a happy joyful post ... although I do lie ... hmmm.. NOT THIS TIME I SWEAR !!! I am ready to get on with better days !!
Find the joy in your day & tell a friend how special thay are ... it's all good !!